Film Review: Jurassic World Rebirth

Welcome back to the blog readers. In case you didn't know, one of my favorite things to watch is dinosaurs eating people. In fact, this is the only thing that I need to move on. In fact, I cannot even leave my house without watching a video of a dinosaur eating people. That last part was a joke, but what is real is that I have loved dinosaurs for as long as I could remember, and whenever a new Jurassic (1993-) film comes out I make it an event. Would this newest film be as good as the other ones? Stick around to find out.

Jurassic World Rebirth was directed by Gareth Edwards from a screenplay by David Koepp, based on characters created by Michael Crichton. The film stars Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, and Ed Skrein. In the film, a covert ops group looking for a miracle cure for humanity and a family stranded on their vacation all find themselves trapped on an island filled with dinosaurs and a secret long buried in the past, and they must come together if they are to survive.

There are three things that are certain in this life: death, taxes, and people loving dinosaurs eating other people. Like I said in the introductory paragraph, I love that like any sane human should, so I have been looking forward to this film for a good while. And I am happy to report to you that my expectations were lived up to...in terms of the box office. This film was a massive disappointment that did have some great things in it, and the real stars of the show were absolutely the dinos.

Like I said, the dinos were the real stars of the show and I have every level of praise for the filmmakers for not only making the dinosaurs terrifying again, but making it fun to watch. The entire scene with the T-rex chase through the river was tense and thrilling because the T-rex was made to be feared. The Titanosaurus scene was majestic and Alexandre Desplat's callback to John Williams' Jurassic Park (1994) theme was beautiful. The Distortus rex scene was terrifying and the design of the dinosaur was blood-curdling. And the Mosasaur and Spinosaurus scene in the water was almost right out of Jaws (1975), and awesome.

Unfortunately, this is where the positives with this film end. While I do like the cinematography from John Mathieson and Desplat's score, the real thing that I did not like about this film (other than the terrible story that I will get to) has to be the bland characters. Academy Award nominee Scarlett Johansson and two-time Academy Award winner Mahershala Ali chose to be in this film, but their characters are just as lifeless, bland, and boring than I could have ever possibly imagined. Not even an American accent-wielding Jonathan Bailey (who charmed the hell out of me in Wicked (2024)) could salvage what he was given because it was just so bland and lifeless.

And finally (because I really do not want to spend much more time talking about this film), I want to talk about the script and story of this film because it really is a brain twister. I think other than the actors feeling like they were bored to tears making this film, the words they have been given to say sound like they came out of a crappy AI blender that really did not work at all for me. Plus, it just all felt so convenient and plot-armory (especially for the vacationing family that really did not belong in this film at all). Every time they were on screen they were taking away from what really has been marketed as the main plot of the film, which is this covert ops team going on a mission to get a miracle cure for humanity. I really hope this film does not get a sequel (or at least if it does get a better writer because David Koepp is washed).

In conclusion, Jurassic World Refund (aka Rebirth) is yet another forgettable dinosaur experience that proves this franchise should just go extinct sooner rather than later. Thank you all for reading, and I will see you for the next post.