Welcome back to the blog readers. If there is one genre of film that has been watered down to obscurity more than horror (which you all know my grievances with), it is action. It feels like every other week there is some obscure action film either made for nothing that nobody cares about or for an exuberant amount that slightly more people care about. I was hoping this film could buck that trend despite the bad marketing, but would the boys be able to finally instill some Christmas cheer into this old grump? Stick around to find out.
Red One was directed by Jake Kasdan from a screenplay by Chris Morgan and a story by Hiram Garcia. The film stars Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Chris Evans, Lucy Liu, Bonnie Hunt, Kiernan Shipka, and J. K. Simmons. In the film, the head of the mystical E.L.F. organization reluctantly teams up with a notorious hacker to rescue the kidnapped Santa Claus and save Christmas.
I had hinted at the fact that this film not only had an exuberant budget but terrible marketing to back. Not one trailer or piece of marketing I saw for this film made me remotely excited to see this, and it did not help that my brother and father will virtually see anything even if it looks terrible. And why the hell did it cost $250 million to make this film? That is the real crime here, other than the film being as terrible as advertised. Wooden acting, bad visual effects, and cringy dialog make this one of the worst theater-going experiences of the year.
Let's get one thing out of the way here; I like Dwayne Johnson but some of the roles he has been taking recently have been questionable to say the least. There is no greater offender in this case like Black Adam (2022). The hierarchy of DC did change forever, just without you buddy. And this film is going to cost him dearly, both personally and financially. His acting is some of the most wooden and lifeless I have seen all year, and he has almost no chemistry whatsoever with Chris Evans or J. K. Simmons. At this point, I think he is going to need some of that "Final Boss" money so he'd better make an Easter reservation to Vegas real quick.
What else can I say about the man formerly known as Captain America for so many years? Ever since he gave up the shield, Chris Evans has been taking some really questionable roles since Avengers: Endgame (2019). Yes, he was great in Knives Out (2019) and his cameos in Free Guy (2021) and Deadpool & Wolverine (2024) were awesome, but The Grey Man and Lightyear (both 2022) was such massive letdowns. This film is unfortunately going to be added to the lowlights because his performance is just as wooden and lifeless as Rocky's. Even though I can relate to his character: the reclusive hacker (except that part) who hates Christmas and has lost the faith for so long, I could not care less about him. It is a shame because he is such a great actor; just look at his performance in Snowpiercer (2013).
Next I want to talk about the horrendous dialog and the half-baked story. The idea of the film, in which Santa is kidnapped and there is a clandestine force that tries to get him back, is admittedly a good one and something not seen before, but the execution is far from flattering for a multitude of reasons. First off, there is no background as to how these organizations came to be in the first place, other than the fact that they are just there. Second off, the emotional beats are hijacked by cringy dialog and jokes that are not even funny (although a Wonder Woman-related joke did get me to giggle). And then, there is the overtly terrible story beats. The Krampus stuff felt shoehorned in for no reason, and the villain had literally no motivation whatsoever. It felt like the old villain-of-the-week routine.
In conclusion, Red One wastes a surprisingly interesting concept by infecting it with no life and wooden dialog. Thank you all for reading, and I will see you for the next post.
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